


Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes Presents...

by y3llowdaisi3s



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:34:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24906148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/y3llowdaisi3s/pseuds/y3llowdaisi3s
Summary: Fred and George have a new partner with WWW.  This partner's creative streak has enhanced F&G's product line immensely.  He refuses to be named or to take any credit, however. Hermione is fascinated with the new products and won't rest until she finds out who the mastermind behind them is.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 5
Kudos: 163





	Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes Presents...

**Author's Note:**

> From 2013:  
>  **Title:** Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes Presents…  
>  **Author/Artist:**   
> **Characters:** Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy  
>  **Prompt number:** 113  
>  **Word Count:** ~7000  
>  **Rating:** NC-17  
>  **Warnings:** Explicit Sex Scenes, Cursing, Overall Draco Malfoy Snarkiness =]  
>  **Summary:** Fred and George have a new partner with WWW. This partner's creative streak has enhanced F&G's product line immensely. He refuses to be named or to take any credit, however. Hermione is fascinated with the new products and won't rest until she finds out who the mastermind behind them is.  
>  **Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and all related characters belong to JK Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit is being made.  
>  **Author’s Notes:** firstly, thank you to the lovely mods of this lovely fest. This was the first festival that I signed up for ever and it sparked me to sign up for almost everything else out there in fandom. Secondly, thank you to for the wonderful prompt. I’m a big fan of yours and can only hope that I’ve done your prompt justice.Thank you to Cherene for for being a wonderful friend and always being so quick to talk plots with me and getting it reviewed and back to me in time. She’s a fantastic beta and I couldn’t not include her so I wrote her name instead of letting the mods to remove her lj-username. Yes, I’m sneaky. Also a big thanks to and for their lovely support and for word warring with me to ensure that I would have this finished in time.

Hermione was starting to enjoy these launch parties. She may be a stickler for the rules - more so in her youth than now - but she could always admit that the twins knew how to throw a party. The Leaky Cauldron had never been so crowded - well, maybe at the last party - and she could barely walk through the door.

She had to push and shove through a small group of teenage girls - fangirls, most likely - talking about which Weasley was their favourite. Hermione rolled her eyes and scrambled to an open space by the bar.

She caught sight of the twins downing Butterbeers in a back corner with her best friends, and a few other people she couldn’t make out and smiled.

Yes, she could get use to these parties. Especially, if they got her closer to meeting _him_.

She started to head in their direction, scanning the room in hopes of finally catching sight of one person in particular. She eyed the laughing men in one corner, the tall dark, and handsome man who was trying to flirt with one of the Patil twins. One of the males in the room was the one man she had been waiting for, and she was tired of waiting.

She had been waiting since that first party. At the beginning of that night, she had no idea she’d be waiting for this man - practically stalking him, if she was honest with herself. That evening was a disaster, but she left feeling hopeful, if a little angry at one particular guest.

It was a lot smaller than the current party, and was hosted in the twin’s flat above their shop. It consisted mainly of the Weasley family and their close friends, and for whatever reason - a lame, Hermione-is-not-jealous kind of reason - that had included a few Slytherins and she scowled in remembrance.

Ronald Weasley, her ex-boyfriend of only two weeks after the battle - every kiss after that one impassioned one was very, very awkward, to say the least - had to be dating - well engaged, now - to Pansy Parkinson, ensuring that Hermione would never be rid of the Slytherins who plagued her school years.

She recalled entering the booming flat with Ginny and Harry on her arm, only to be immediately pulled away by an inebriated Draco Malfoy. She could smell the Firewhiskey on his breath and he groped her arse telling her that now that Weasel was out of the way that they should get it on again.

She scowled at the memory, upset that he would joke about their one – and her only – time together as she pushed through another group of fangirls - Did they multiply when you added vodka? Really, this was beginning to be a problem.

She was mortified by Malfoy’s behaviour and wanted to leave but the twins - those blasted troublemakers - would not let her leave before they unveiled their first in a series of new products.

She had shoved an intoxicated Malfoy away from her, causing him to hit his hip against the drink table, spilling butterbeer onto Hermione’s blouse.

It wasn’t a good night.

She had spent most of the night pushing an overly touchy Malfoy away from her as she attempted to dry her shirt. She had to have forgotten her wand on the one night she actually needed it, and everyone else in attendance either didn’t have theirs or refused to spell her blouse dry.

It reminded her why she didn’t like parties. She was about to leave - who cares about the new product line - when the twins had shut off all the lights and a tapping that was supposed to be a drum roll could be heard from the corner Lee Jordan sat in.

“Tonight, we celebrate a simple - “ Fred started.

“But brilliant - “ George continued.

“Idea that has come to fruition.”

“We present to you.”

“The first of many.”

“Of our new clothing line _Wizard Wit_.” They both said in unison as they threw off a sheet from over a rack with shirts hanging off it. Hermione eyed them warily. It was just plain tee shirts with some writing on them. She had expected something to explode, or at least some fire - where was the fire?

“What’s wrong with them?” Ginny had been brave enough to ask.

“What’s wrong with them she says,” one twin scoffed as the other shook his head.

“Nothing’s wrong with them, oh dear sister of mine.” The other said as he walked towards Hermione. Before she could escape, George quickly grabbed hold of her arms and dragged her so that she stood in the middle of the room.  
“Hermione here, since you need a new shirt, why don’t you be the first to model one.”

She had crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to be the dummy who put on one of their shirts only to have ink explode on her face. She shook her head. No, she would not be that person.

Malfoy, one of the guests who had refused to use his wand to dry her shirt had spelled her shirt off, causing Hermione to gasp. She had reached out to smack him when she realised that she was giving everyone a show and quickly turned her back on the whistling coming from Malfoy and his friends.

She looked at the rack of shirts and snatched one off its hanger and threw it over her head. She turned back to the crowd and stepped forward to punch Malfoy in the nose, when the smirk on his face caused her to stop in her tracks.

Everyone else had laughed and hollered while Draco’s smirk only grew as he said, “If you want to have a go again, just say the word, Granger.”

She was confused. She was upset. And she just wanted to get away. She Disapparated from the party back home only to look at her reflection in the full-length mirror in her bedroom.

Her shirt.

She had wanted to tear it to pieces, until she read it again and it made her smile.

After awhile, she had started laughing so hard that she ended up on the floor in hysterics. The laughing was turning into tears and she no longer knew if it was because she was still upset, or because she understood Malfoy’s smirk.

The next day she had bonked the twins heads together and demanded who came up with the shirt idea and what else they had.

They walked her to the back of the shop where they added a new display. Shirts in different colors with different messages were hanging from the wall. A large poster cycled through the various messages and Hermione had to work hard to contain her laughter.

“Who came up with these?” She managed to wheeze out before giggling.

The twins smiles broadened, “We’re not allowed to tell, but he’s a new partner who said they’re the latest rage in the Muggle world.”

Hermione had giggled even more as the poster displayed their design for ‘This is my Muggle outfit’ at that exact moment.

From that moment, she was intrigued by this partner. He was inspired by Muggles. When the twins informed her that he was a Pureblood who was trying to keep his reputation on the down-low - the partner’s words, not theirs - they couldn’t tell her anything but they’ll pass along how pleased she was with the product line.

That had led to Erol delivering a letter from the twins saying how he had reacted. Hermione smiled in memory of reading what it had said.

_We told him what you thought and he said that he is humbled by your acceptance. He also liked the shirt you selected at the party. However, he liked the view before you put it on, even more._

She continued to walk towards her friends and before getting to them, looked down at her green shirt and mouthed the words “Save a broom, ride a seeker.”

“My favourite Gryffindor!” Malfoy shouted as he pushed Blaise out of his chair.

“My least favourite Slytherin,” Hermione replied as she ignored the proferred seat and hugged all her friends.

“Your words wound me, Granger. But that’s all right, I’ll help you save a broom.” He winked.

She shook her head at him. Ever since that first party, as she had obsessed over the twins silent partner, Draco Malfoy obsessed over her. Hermione found it amusing as it was more teasing than it was lecherous - as it was in the beginning - but she wished he didn’t monopolize her time at these parties.

The only time she was absolutely sure she would get to meet the man she had been obsessing over the past year was at a product launch party.

But _no_ , Draco Malfoy wanted to use the time to get as close to her, which quite possibly could be keeping her away from _him_.

She sat between Pansy and Ginny - figuring that they could protect her from Malfoy, allowing her the time to possibly meet _him_ in person.

She eyed the shirts of all her friends. The first product launch was a huge success and was one of the first things that she had talked about over letters with _him_.

Harry wore a red shirt that had a picture of snitch and said ‘I got 99 problems but a snitch ain’t one.’

Luna wore a bright orange shirt that said ‘I suspect the Nargles are behind it’ causing Hermione to snort.

Malfoy maneuvered himself so that he and Pansy had switched seats. He gave Hermione a questioning look at the snort as he handed her a Butterbeer.

Hermione shook her head at his antics. He would never learn and just nodded in Luna’s direction. She looked at his shirt, black, with white writing that said ‘Snitches: Avoiding Capture Since the 14th Century.’

“So,” he mock-shouted into her ear, “these shirts are pretty awesome, aren’t they?”

She nodded as she sipped at her drink. She tried to discreetly look around the room. The twins said he’d be here. _He_ said he’d be here.

So where was he?

“Did you get a look at the new products? Pretty brilliant, if you ask me. Muggles, what would they come up with next? It’s amazing what they come up with to compensate for no magic.” Malfoy said in her face.

She hadn’t seen them yet but she knew about them. _He_ told her that he was intrigued by the way Muggles communicated with each other and it was baffling that Wizards had to wait on Owls and get on their knees in front of fireplaces.

“Did you get a Snazzleberry? Or maybe a two-way journal. I’m glad I’ll never have to wait on an owl again. And not to say that I’m getting old or anything, but my knees are grateful.” The similar words drew her from her thoughts and Hermione stared at Malfoy baffled.

Could he?

He smirked at her while he took a sip of his drink. “So, want to get out of here?”

Of course, not.

She really didn’t understand why she hadn’t slapped him yet. She just shook her head at him and turned away so that she could listen to the conversation coming from the rest of the group.

* * *

She woke up the next day with a hangover that would take out a Mountain Troll. There was an incessant tapping at her window and she just wanted to die in peace. Her two-way journal started to glow and beep to the timing of the tapping and Hermione’s head couldn’t take anymore.

She stumbled out of her bed and stormed to the window. She slammed it open and held her hand out to the owl which simply dropped a package in her hand and flew off.

All of that for a small box? She wanted to chuck it out the window. And what was causing that beeping? She glanced around her room when she caught sight of the red glow coming from under the books on her nightstand.

She trudged back to her bed and opened the journal non-too-gently and glared at the writing.

_I know how much you drank last night and figured you could use a pick-me-up. Sorry for the early owl, but you have a busy day!_

It was _him_. Her anger quickly disappeared and she opened the package to find a vial of Sobering Potion.

She took a swig and immediately felt better.

Maybe she would refrain from murderous thoughts in the future. It wasn’t in her nature. Neither was getting drunk for that matter, but Malfoy just kept giving her more and more Butterbeer. And she kept on accepting and drinking them. _He_ wasn’t there, or at least showing his face to her, so she decided getting drunk would make it all better.

And of course, it hadn’t. She’s almost certain that she only managed to get home because Malfoy carried her. She is also almost certain that he may have kissed her, and she didn’t stop him.

Her head was starting to hurt again. Her head dropped to her hands and she groaned.

The journal glowed again, drawing her attention away from her inner turmoil. She looked at the words and pondered how he knew her so well.

_Stop overthinking. You had fun last night, and that’s all that matters._

She would never admit it to anyone, least of all to _him_ , that she had fun with Malfoy. And on that note, Malfoy didn’t need to know that either.

It was happening a lot anyway. This having fun with Malfoy business. It wasn’t healthy or natural.

But in the words of Ronald Weasley, who had the emotional range of a tablespoon now - the words of his fiance, not Hermione - if he and Pansy could get along, there was absolutely no reason Hermione and Draco - yes, Draco! - couldn’t enjoy each other’s company.

She wanted to strangle the fool.

_So do you like the two-way journals?_

Hermione shook her head of angry vengeful thoughts. It was too early in the morning for plotting murder. Plus, she would never actually go through with it, so it was a waste of time truly.  
Yes, no more waiting for owls. It’s all instant.

_I know! Muggles use something called IM. You chat through the computer, but I figured getting Wizards to use a computer would take a lot more effort than just selling them these journals._

Hermione nodded at that. She had a computer. Her father gave her one and it sat in the corner of her room collecting dust.

Are you sure you’re a pureblood?

_As sure as I am smart._

Hermione couldn’t argue with that. He had to be smart to come up with such simple but brilliant products. She had been called to help Verity with the twins’ books right after the first product launch of _Wizard’s Wit_ , and the profits couldn’t lie. Something as simple as funny tee-shirts were flying off the shelves. Hermione had to help create some new spells to ensure they could meet demand.

_So what do you think about our next product line?_

She had to think hard on that. She didn’t recall being told about any future plans for expanding. Granted, she was busy getting smashed with Malfoy, but she had tried to pay attention to anything the twins were saying.

She had a eureka moment after thinking really hard and recalled Malfoy telling the twins how the next line needed to be marketed separately, for some reason or other.

Well, I don’t understand why it needs to be marketed separately. You haven’t needed to do that with any of your ideas. There, maybe he’d give her a hint and she’ll find out what it is without looking like a complete fool.

_Silly, if we didn’t market them separately, imagine the outrage we’d get from the parents of our normal customers!_

Hermione gaped. What did he mean outrage? What could they possibly be selling that would anger parents?

_Our Adult Line. You were there when the twins and I were talking about it._

She was there? She was near him? And she hadn’t known?

Damn that Malfoy.  
Her thoughts turned dark and she was about to return to her morning plans of stranglation when all of a sudden they immediately halted.

Wait.

What?

_Adult Line_?

Okay, that was completely new and different. Where did he get that idea from? Why would the twins want to sell an adult line?

Who was she kidding, it was only a matter of time. She had visited the twins flat not too long ago and found some rather kinky surprises on their coffee table. She should have put two and two together.

Brightest Witch of the Age, her arse.

Where could you have possibly gotten an idea for that? 

_I was walking around London. Managed to end up in a dodgy area. Ducked into a shop hoping to get my bearings and it just happened to be a sex shop. Smitten Kitten, maybe you’ve heard of it?_

Hermione blushed. The flush went down to her toes. This was a new turn of events. While she was used to comments from Malfoy, they were unwanted. And while she had an unbelievable crush on this man, they had never talked about sex before.

She had to fan herself at the implications.

_I’m sorry. Did I cross a line? I didn’t mean to be offensive. It’s just..._

Of course, not! It’s fine, really. She interrupted quickly, too quickly if she really thought about it. She wanted to know what else he had to say.

_If you’re sure. I don’t ever want to turn you away. I’ve been waiting for you to slap me for offending you for ages._

What? Hermione was utterly confused now. Has he offended her in the past? She didn’t recall that ever happening? She jumped across her room to her closet and dug for a specific trunk - a special trunk. She dragged it out of the closet and plopped herself in front of it and opened the lid. She eyed the various parchment and schematics and drawings and tried to think of a reasonable way to go through it.

There really wasn’t.

She grabbed something at random and reviewed it.

Hermione continued to do so until there were scraps of paper and parchment all over her bedroom floor and the trunk was nearly empty.

There was nothing there for her to consider offensive. There was occasional flirting, sure, but nothing she would consider on Malfoy’s level.

Wait, a minute. She had jumped back to her bed and pulled the journal close to her. She ignored the new message for now and simply read what had sparked the search down memory lane.

_Slap me for offending you for ages._

Slap him? How could she have slapped him if they’re entire relationship was through correspondence?

She read his next message.

_Now aren’t you in a quandary, Hermione?_

Yes she was. She was, indeed, in a quandary, and she was even more adamant to find _him_ than she had been.

* * *

The quandary persisted for a four more months - and twelve days and six hours, but whose counting? Not her, Hermione scoffed.

During the time between then and now, Hermione and _him_ continued to write to each other through the two-way journal. The flirting became even more risque, and once - well, let’s be honest, more than once - Hermione blushed at the memory, they cybered.

She didn’t even know what cybering was, but he did, and he was quick to inform Hermione.

Sometimes she forgot that she was the Muggle-born in the psuedo-relationship.

“Blushing because you’re thinking of me?” The voice whispered into her ear.

Hermione gasped, jumped, and turned around to glare at the snarky blonde. Leave it to Draco Malfoy to ruin a private moment.  
For an odd reason, her mind decided to transpose Malfoy into the memory/fantasy she was creating. She was remembering the last time they had cybered. They were role-playing a specific fantasy of his and she was more than happy to oblige.

_  
The two of them were patrolling the halls of Hogwarts. They were on the prowl for teenagers trying to take advantage of the empty halls and dark alcoves._

_Well, that’s what they would tell the professors should they ask._

_In actuality, they were the teenagers taking advantage._

_He had her pressed up against the wall in a hidden alcove by the stairs that lead to Slytherin. Her legs were wrapped around his torso and he ground into her causing her to whimper._

_“Doesn’t it turn you on, knowing that we could get caught at any moment?” He whispered into her ear, causing her to shiver._

_“Any moment Professor Snape could walk up these steps and catch us. He’d give us detention, but I’m his favourite. He’d leave us alone in the Potions class room and I’d be able to do more of this.” At the word this, he thrusted against her._

_She could only moan in response._

_“Would you like that? To fuck” he rasped out, “in a classroom. I always knew you were naughty, Granger.”_

_She was dragging her arms up and down his back, whispering pleas for him to just fuck her already._

_Draco smirked that smirk that she loved to hate - or hated to love, she wasn’t so sure - and trailed a hand down her neck, tweaked one of her nipples before sliding under her skirt._

_“Or maybe, you’d rather us be in the library instead. Be the naughty bookworm that everyone fantasizes you as.” He slipped his fingers through her knickers, pushing them aside so that he could rub her clit._

_“Would you like that, Granger? Or something else? Hmm?” His smirk became feral and Hermione would swear the look a predator would give right before devouring its prey._

_“Fuck me. Fuck me, now.” She gasped out as he thrust his fingers into her.  
_

“Granger, you okay?” Malfoy shook her to reality. Where did that come from, Hermione asked herself.

She nodded and swatted his hands away from her person. She couldn’t be near him while fantasizing about his fingers. Those long, pale fingers that he was waving in front of her face.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I am, Malfoy. Just need some fresh air, that’s all.” She said as she dashed away from him and outside of the Leaky Cauldron.

It was another launch party, and she had hoped that this would be the time she would finally get to meet _him_. Instead she was spending it how she spent all these parties, alone. Well, not alone, but with Malfoy, and she was slowly getting to the point where she didn’t even mind his company. She was fantasizing of him.

She couldn’t have that. She wanted _him_ , not Malfoy. She wanted someone who understood her Muggle heritage, who was intelligent, had a sense of humour, and just wasn’t Malfoy.

She would have to admit, and only to herself - and maybe Ginny and Pansy if she were drunk enough during girls’ night like she was two weeks ago when she had made the startling confession - but Malfoy was everything she wanted in a man, except for one thing.

He didn’t understand her Muggle heritage, and she didn’t know if it was something she could just forget about - as Pansy had drunkedly suggested. _He’s hot, you’re hot, the two of you have enough sexual tension to suffocate the Dark Lord. Forget about Huggle Meritage and just have sex already!_ The succession of ‘hear, hears!’ from Ginny and Luna who had only joined them before Pansy’s outburst only furthered her ponderings.

Could she forget about it?

At girls’ night last week, she refused to drink, or allow any alcohol to pass her girl friends’ lips so that they could discuss the realization as rational adults.

“I cannot forget about it. If I were to bring him home to meet my parents. How do you imagine that would go? Sure, he doesn’t think I’m a Mudblood anymore, but it doesn’t mean he would understand how not to burn down the house using the toaster!”

“Didn’t you hear him at the last launch party?” Ginny responded.

“Yes, he said that he was glad he would never have to wait for an owl again. How Muggles were brilliant with the things they come up with without magic” Pansy replied.

Before Hermione could react, Luna quickly added, “Isn't that exactly what you said _he_ said to you?

She was brought out of her memories by the shouts of people slamming the door to the Leaky shut. She walked away from the din into the mouth of an alley to the side. She was in Muggle London, and she had her wand, she would be safe to ponder.

She sat down on a crate that was hidden in the shadows. Luna had a valid point. Malfoy had a way of wiggling into her thoughts. In many ways, he reminded her of _him_ , but there was one simple fact that kept making her believe it impossible.

He was Draco Malfoy.

_He_ had travelled through the Muggle world, absorbing everything he could, only to take back what he learned and repackage it to sell to Wizards and Witches alike.

If it wasn’t for the whole travelling the Muggle world, Hermione could imagine _him_ being Draco Malfoy, but really, who would believe that Draco Malfoy had done such a thing?

Not her, for one.

She sighed, she didn’t want to think about this anymore. She didn’t want to think about him either. She Disapparated back to her flat to be all alone.

* * *

It had been two days and other than having her assistant deliver her workload to her, she hadn’t seen hide nor hair of anyone. She refused to leave her home.

She even ignored _him_.

The two-way journal that once sat on her nightstand so that she could talk to him everyday before bed was now hidden under some scarves on her bedroom floor. She knew it was glowing. It glowed when she threw it across her room so that it hit the wall, knocking over her scarf drawer that now lay over it.

She didn’t care, not one bit, and she had focused on work to do keep her mind of it.

It became harder though when her assistant told her that Verity stopped by with the books for the shop and needed some help. Her assistant, smart as she was - and clueless to Hermione’s current hate-for-everything-related-to- _him_ -which-included-the-Weasley-Twins - made no objection and included it with Hermione’s daily files.

She eyed the books like they were another Horcrux. They weren’t evil, but they brought her heartache, and at the moment, it was close enough.

She left it on her kitchen counter and focused on other things. She finished her Ministry work in no time, as she always did. By lunch, she was bored and she had a momentary lapse where she considered opening the books or seeing what _he_ had to say for himself but she refrained.

She was stronger than that. She ordered take-out instead and when the Orange Chicken arrived, she happily scarfed down her food while sitting on her living room couch watching the telly.

When one of the talk shows hit a little too close to home - the woman was in love with a man who she spoke to online, but never met - she shut it off and decided a bath was in order.

She was laying in her tub, vanilla-scented bubbles hiding her body from view, brown sugar candles lit on the counter, and her hair tied up with her head laying on the ledge. She was relaxing and almost forgot about her problems when a small owl swooped into the bathroom and dropped a fairly large package into the tub causing a splash of tidal wave proportions - not really, but Hermione felt that she had every right to exaggerate.

The oomph the package caused by landing on her tummy prevented her from jumping out of the tub and catching the bird. A letter floated to the top of the water and Hermione had to spread the bubbles away so that she could read the parchment.

_Hermione,_

_I’m sorry. I know you want to know who I am, but, it’s hard. Just know that, it was you who inspired me to learn more about Muggles. I knew that if I didn’t learn about them, I would never understand you. I would never have a chance with you. I know you._

Hermione scoffed. Know her, yeah, right.

_And don’t you scoff at me. You have to admit I know you. Even before we truly started writing, I had a good idea of who you were. There was the one time that you even let me see the real you, and I’ve spent every day to get back to where we were. And all this time, you’ve gotten to know me. But if you saw me, well, I’m fairly certain that you would disregard everything we’ve spoken about and think me to be the cruel person I once was. You’ve probably forgotten the one time that you actually gave me the time of day because your mind can’t connect me to the person you think I am. I’m not him anymore, and I’ve tried to show you that, but all you do is ignore me and my advances, and I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m sorry and I’ll leave you alone but as a parting gift. I wanted to give you something that I’ve been working on._

_Love, me_

When she finished the letter, she was even more confused than she was that morning, or the day before. She simply shook her head and reached into the water to grab the package. She was surprised that the letter and the box was not wet, but as _he_ had said, he did know her. He must’ve known she would’ve wanted to take a relaxing bath and made everything water-proof. Or he was lucky. She’d rather go with the latter.

She opened the package and inside was a plethora of Weasleys’ Wizards Wheezes products. There was a purple - her favourite color that only _he_ and Malfoy - he had asked while she was drunk once - had known - shirt that said ‘I fight for House Elf Rights’ and then there was a new Snazzleberry that clearly said version two. If she wasn’t so mad she’d have squealed.

_I had them make the shirt just for you. I figured we couldn’t really mass-produce it unless you’d be okay purchasing five hundred of the same shirt. And the Snazzleberry has Face-Time so maybe, one day, we can talk face to face._

She couldn’t help but smile. The man was silly and had no faith in her whatsoever. That reminded her of her anger and she refused to enjoy the rest of the gift.

There was just so much more in the box though, she couldn't help it if she was naturally curious.

Next was a package from the Adult Line and made Hermione immediately blush. It contained a blindfold and handcuffs. The box said _I’ve only ever imagined you with these._ and it made Hermione shudder at the implciations.

She shook her head. She was mad at him, not randy for him. Nope, no siree.

At the bottom of the box was another container but she couldn’t pull it out. She tried to lodge it out, shake it out, but it wasn’t until she had the box upside-down did a parchment fall to the surface of the water - again waterproof.

_This. I had especially made for you. I know you’re aware of the other products the twins are selling, but none were based off mine._

Finally, the container loosened and Hermione easily pulled it from the box. It was a plain package that simply said ‘The Dragon’ and when she opened it, she immediately closed it.

How embarrassing. She was happy that she was in her bathroom alone.

That’s right. She was in her bathroom, alone.

She opened the container again and pulled out the green and silver nine-inch dildo out. Well, maybe if she took care of the sexual frustration, she wouldn’t be as upset with the world.

* * *

After she had recouped from the very lovely orgasm, she had got dressed and returned to the main part of her house. She saw the books Verity had left were still on her kitchen counter and she almost felt guilty for ignoring them for so long.

She decided she would get over herself, and _him_ and just proceed as if life was normal.

She found her trusty calculator and pen and sat down at her table and opened the books to where she had last left off.

* * *

She was having a hard time ignoring _him_. In the inventory list, ‘The Dragon’ was listed as one being made, and one being sold. She was smart, she could put two and two together. So he really did have only one of the special product made. It didn’t mean it was molded on his own equipment. Even if she hadn’t recalled having one fit her so perfectly before.

Who was she kidding, she only had one cock to compare it to, and it was...

_She didn’t like going to the Room of Requirement for these parties. It wasn’t her thing. And everyone knew that, but they wouldn’t listen to her and would drag her anyway._

_She didn’t like them because everyone had someone. Harry was with Ginny. Ron was chasing after Parkinson - who would have thought that?_

_She tried to hang out with the Ravenclaws, but even they were hooking up._

_She walked around the room with her red cup full of Butterbeer. Everywhere she looked people were kissing, dancing, groping each other._

_She felt like a spotlight was shining on her loneliness. As she walked through the sea of people, she felt more and more alone._

_She searched the crowd for her friends and when she found Harry with his tongue down Ginny’s throat and Ron dancing against Pansy, she figured she could make a run for it._

_If she had to be by herself, she could be by herself in the common room with a good book._

_When the door to the Room of Requirement shut closed, she shuffled down the halls back to the stairwell. Before she made it though, she felt a familiar stare pierce her back._

_She looked behind her and when she saw nothing, she briskly walked ahead. She heard light footsteps not far off so she darted down a corner and hid in an alcove._

_A blonde man walked by causing the hairs on her neck to bristle and her to gasp when she realised who was following her._

_Draco Malfoy._

_He heard her gasp and turned to look into the alcove. Hermione was stunned and couldn’t move while he walked forward into the alcove with her._

_She stared up into his eyes while he looked down into hers. They didn’t speak any words. He leaned forward and kissed her._

_She didn’t respond. But she didn’t stop him._

_But before he could stop, she kissed back._

_Somehow, in a matter of minutes, they were in the Head’s common room. She didn’t recall how they got their from the alcove, but he was pushing her down against the couch making her quickly disregard the thought._

_His hand slipped under her shirt and she giggled as his fingers trailed up her tummy. He stopped but she shook her head making him continue to her chest. While he fumbled with her bra she was busy trying to unbutton his shirt._

_Eventually they were both naked and staring at each other. She wasn’t sure what she was doing and she was surprised that Draco didn’t either._

_After a minute of staring, he was touching her again and she was moaning. While he rubbed on her clit, she started stroking his cock._

_When he started gasping, he pushed her hand away. She looked at him as if she had done something wrong but he shook his head and kissed her cheek._

_He lined himself up with her opening and stared into her eyes, asking the unspoken question. She nodded and he slid into the hilt._

Exactly as she remembered it!

She jumped up from her table and started mumbling as she paced the room.

Everything was starting to make sense. That one time. All the times Draco Malfoy was flirting with her, he was never joking.

The gifts.

The new product lines.

The Muggle inspired products.

The Muggle inspired products that _she_ inspired him to create.

She wasn’t sure what she should do with the new found information. She sighed as she slumped back into her chair. She stared at the books until her eyes blurred.

Eventually, a certain line item cleared in her vision, ‘Partner Office’ was easily readable.

She sat up straight and reached for the paper to look at it more closely. The Partner Office was a new expense for a space behind the shop.

Hermione had an idea of who occupied the space, and after a quick pep-talk, she Apparated to Diagon Alley to confront the man she had mutually been obsessed with for the past year.

* * *

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Hermione whispered after slamming the door open. She quickly glanced around and mentally sighed in relief. Her intuition was right and she was in Malfoy’s - no Draco’s - office.

He was sitting on the floor behind his desk, tinkering with something or other. His hair was disheveled as she eyed his very toned arms that were on display because of his tight shirt that said ‘Desirable No. 1 Hermione Granger’ with a picture of her from her year on the run making Hermione snort.

Draco’s attention left the items in his hands to the door. When he caught sight of Hermione, his eyes widened and Hermione couldn’t help but smirk at him - _his_ smirk, which made Hermione giddy to have reason to throw it back at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She said as she tried to sultry walk around the clutter that made his office towards him.

His mouth gaped like a fish, unable to speak. The whole situation was making Hermione think the headache was worth it, but he would have to pay a little more before she’d forgive him. She bent forward and closed his jaw with the tip of her finger.

This felt fun.

“Well? Anything you’d like to say?” She whispered into his ear. She stood up straight and walked backwards so that she was sitting against his desk. She leaned back, which pushed her chest forward and made him pay attention to the shirt she was wearing.

It said ‘I like my men tall, blond, slytherin’ with a drawing of him from his Hogwarts years - after the gel, she never did like that phase - and she wore it on purpose.

His eyes that were already bulging owlishly, and Hermione laughed out loud being reminded of a cartoon.

“Okay, this sultry seductress thing, it’s not me and I can’t keep the act up.” She said when she caught her breath. She looked him in the eye and asked, “Seriously, Draco, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Everytime I tried to hit on you, you laughed at me.” He looked down at his hands, and fiddled with the pieces of whatever it was he was working on before she got there. “If you knew it was me, you would never have spoken to me. I had to take what I could get.”

Hermione gasped. She wanted to think that it wasn’t true. But she couldn’t very well disagree with his statement. She didn’t know if things would have been different, but they wouldn’t be able to find out that now.

“Well, that may be true, but that’s in the past. I know it’s you now. What are you going to do about it?”

He dropped what was in his hands and looked up to her. There was an undeniable look of hope in his eyes that made Hermione’s heart skip a beat. Yes, it didn’t matter how they got here, all that mattered was that she finally found _him_ and he was Draco Malfoy.

Draco quickly stood on his feet and stepped forward so that he was standing so close their legs were touching. He wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her closer so that they were staring into each other eyes.

“You know what this means, right?”

She smiled as she kissed the edge of his mouth. “No, what does this mean?” she whispered.

“You’ll have to bring the handcuffs and the blindfold over.”

She giggled and punched him in the arm as he pulled her into a deeper kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Woah its been a minute. So I got a review on this baby on ffn, and realized it wasn't on here at ao3, so I figured I'd bring it over. With the corn teen, I have some updates to my WIP and also new stories in some new fandoms. We shall see if I get to the point to upload them.


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